Yesterday after taking medicine I went to work, at first I thought shouldn't be a problem but after a while felt very drowsy... so I went back around 10pm... give lion and mawi a big scolding becoz lion accidentally cut his hand when cutting an apple...

Today wake up very early... it is only 5 am now... no need to go back office anymore... becoz now can work at home... starting to feel tired... restless... feeling a bit lost... wondering how come life is so dull... went into lion & B3 room... they were still sleeping... I sat beside and wonder... would they know wat is going on... I think they are too young to understand wat is happening as we are acting normally in front of them... when I think back.... I have got 3 siblings, we never know wat is a warm family... our parent are that sort that fight or quarrel almost everyday so after we slowly grown up me and my younger sis usually stay out late or even don go back... than at the age around 13... get into some kind of "trouble" so went in for 2 years... while i was inside my parent divorce so after coming out I stay with my dad and younger sis while my 2 younger bro follow my mom... my mom will still always call me and complain to me about my dad and the same thing goes to my dad too... start working at the age around 15... than get to know Adrian... and we got married... at first I thought finally I can leave that stressful life style and start everything new... but it doesn't seem the case... I was too naive... than I realise it is actually a starting of another nightmare... He doesn't come home every nite... betting on soccer... don wan to work... fooling around outside... never contribute anything to the family... bottenline watever an ass hole would do... I actually close 2 eyes on watever he did and be the part to compromise... than after he got credit card thing started to worsen... he went to Indonesia at least twice a week... and finally he was in debt due to spending too much using credit card and got himself bankrupt... after this incident he start to change... becoming better... spend time with lion... went to work everyday... but he still have the bad habbit of taking money from me... he still don financially support the family... I never have the courage to tell him I wan a divorce becoz I don wan lion & B3 to have the same childhood life like me but... since for 7 years I have been acting as a dad and mom position, why can't I do it for the rest of my life... moreover I can support them alone... which I am doing all along... I think I had did the correct decision... or... hopefully I am doing the correct thing... actually I am still a bit confuse... but one thing for sure is there is no love between us... no matter how he change...I still can't accept it... I juz can't control myself to hate him... He is not a man... neither a husband nor a dad... He always gave empty promise... sign... ??????????? I made too many wrong step... and now I am being sentence lifetime imprisonment... ai yo... wat if I take the wrong move again... now actually we agreed not to interfere each other life but he must still do his duties as a dad... so far so good... he really did spend time with them on his off day and do his personal thing at night and if our off day is together he will also follow us out... I think perhaps we are better in this type of friend relationship... I don dare to think how long can this last... but something for sure is when they are big enough to understand and see things... it will be time to let go... today seem to be too lor soh... ha ha but always felt better after flooding my blog.....................

He went to his dad place than lion start looking for him so I ask him back for a talk than finally we came out with something reasonable... it is rather hard as it may be easy for me and him but it is very hard for the kids to accept but now everything is settle... (",) now i no longer go home feeling stress... don have to worry he will take advantage of me... don have to sleep with him... don have to listen to all his lie... ha ha He do watever he wan and I do watever I wan as long in front of lion and B3 we are together... last Sunday Alvin ask me out but I put him aeroplane I thought he will get very mad and give out but sad to say he still thought he got chance... tomorrow I will be meeting him for lunch and I will make it the last talk with him... nothing more than friend... after Ah Heng told me he is a super drug addict I find him irritating... tomorrow is lantern festival but I will be working... cannot spend time with my darling, sign....

He don agree to divorce so Edmund suggest we go for 3 years separation... a bit more troublesome but he say this is the only way... think about it, also good la better than nothing done...the feeling was a bit wired... felt so different... although still staying together but felt much more relax... than yesterday he came with Kenny to drink... thinking that Kenny can talk me out but he came at the wrong timing becoz it is around 12 plus and I already drank alot... guess wat??? I shouted at him and give him a good scolding, he was so shocked and kept quiet all the way than when Kenny wan to start talking I stare at him and he stop... ha ha ha now think back like very funny.... than went to dragonfly with Nico and Angel... but cannot really remember wat happen ... how I went back I also forget liao...

Juz came back from fly... dame drunk!!! today really too many thing happen... I told Adrian I wan to divorce... he was dame shock, he said no but I already make up my mind.... I really cannot stand him anymore... for 7 years... 7 years... I was so good to him... close one eyes for wat ever he did outside in fact I should say is close two eyes but he is so bloody too much... he never pay for anything and he only come back when he need $$$... take money from me to spend on other women.. I really regret for giving him a last chance when I got Beatrice.... he lie to me again... cheat my $$$ again... I really don love him anymore... I ... Mmm... actually partly becoz I fall in love with someone who don love me or maybe should i say he know he cannot love me that why I have the courage to leave Adrian.... I think too highly of myself...我以为我放的下你,原来我真的不能忘記你... I don like this type of feeling ...

Today really alot people... very tired then somemore today until 3am. Today Nico dame high becoz she received a 12 stalk of Lily from her admirer ha ha can see that she really very happy then Nico say wan to go Fly after work but I rejected her then she sound a bit angry but let her be la... she will 4get tomorrow ha ha actually if only the both of us go I don mind becoz tomorrow no need to work mah but Jon and Yvo also going that why I don feel like going... still rather mad with them... actually wan to go home but today someone that I didn't expect came, sign... mad man but luckily today Robin got come so he send me back... went to the same place eat first then go back... now reach home cannot sleep again... maybe next time shouldn't eat supper, sleep before my alcohol evaporate ha ha

Ai yo... It is already 4.30 am but I still can't fall asleep... watch DVD then went down stair walk walk but still can't sleep so decided to blog... tomorrow sure to wake up late... I thought finally can sleep without any liquor but in the end no liquor cannot fall asleep... already taken my forth pill but still cannot sleep leh!!! Ai yo... I wan to sleep! Don really have anything to say becoz really too "bo liao".

Today no work... really wan to rest the whole day at home but my phone kept ringing and ringing none stop... exactly like Hot line! actually meeting Jeff but too tired so in the end cancel then Robin,Bob and Ah Heng wan to meet for dinner but I am really too tired liao, I guess tomorrow will be even more tiring becoz both of them Robin and Ah Heng might be coming at almost the same timing ha ha maybe should think of a better way to solve this problem... felt a bit angry when I found out from adel about my bill... That stupid man lie to me again I am actually paying more than wat I should pay so I give him a good scolding and a dateline to return me my money... no more paying thing for him anymore... I am feeling very very much better now after a good rest... Everything will change better from the very moment now... No more the old me... (",) Wow tonight no need to drink, felt so healthy... ha ha

yesterday was really a dame busy day... bring worker to open account at DBS but the employer don have corporate account with the bank so have to bring him to UOB instead... then went to find Joseph for cheap cheap HP... bought a HP for the worker than rushes to work again... yesterday don really feel like drinking becoz Ah Boon was there so I don wan to get drunk but ... a customer order 2 bottle Gordon blue than he requested to drink on the rock so after 1 bottle turn empty I started to see stars *** liao ha ha ha so I request to go back earlier than the same old story happen again maybe I should delete his number again... feel so bad when I woke up in the morning and recall wat I did...

I was so glad that u came to find me today.... at first I thought that u hate me ... but it doesn't seem the case... I miss u ... really ... don tired yourself too much...

Trip @ Sentosa * way up to take cable car

*inside cable car

*lion n uncle bob

Yesterday spend a day at Pasir Ris... spend around hundred at sake sushi and I can see them enjoying although everytime when they grab a red plate my heart start to beat a bit faster than normal beat ha ha than bring them to play ball and decided to head towards the horse ride and car ride around 9.30 pm becoz there are closing at 10pm but in the end the ticket counter said the ride end at 9 pm for today so I argue with her for a while than decided no point arguing with her so I went to the information counter next door and ask the guy inside, than that man said only for today there close the ride becoz the event staff have something on... I was a bit unhappy so I told him by right if the banner state close at 10pm they shouldn't close 1 hour earlier and even if they wan to do so they should at least state there... really dame unprofessional. I can see the disappointment on Lion face so I promise him next time let him ride as many round as he wan...

Now feeling a bit worry becoz I am starting to mix up my all my job... one of the client call than at first I thought he is taking worker from me so I start to explain to him the proceeding than in the end turn out he is sgtalk client ha ha so I have to explain to him again. feel like sleeping a bit longer but today is the only day that I can spend with them so ... have to get ready to go to our Lau Di Fang... they seems to like downtown east alot but I got a little bit bore already so maybe should think of somewhere else liao...

Today I delete his contact no. from my phone list becoz... everytime when I get drunk I will call him so I think this is the best way to stop myself from disturbing him.... I always wake up feeling regret of wat I done yesterday when I drunk... but I only know how to "work" after I drink... today Nico ask me if I remember wat happen yesterday so I told her I don know ... yesterday Ah Boon was there so as per normal he make me drink and drink, so when I told him I really can't drink anymore he is very unhappy and start to make a fuss so in order to keep his mouth shut I drink... finally when it is time to go I was so drunk that Jolin had to help me to the transport than Ah Boon was following me behind... he kept telling Jolin that he will send me back than he get more and more inpatient so he hired a taxi and pull me in... luckily Nico and Yvonne was there to help me.... than Nico send me safely back... Sign.... so scary!!! but yesterday I was quite glad after getting 21 LD no need to worry for this month liao...