Tired and lifeless

Have not been blogging becoz very busy... I work and work non stop, I now have so many side line until I also cannot believe I can manage long or not. Beside my main job I join EnYouth selling health product and night time in a pub so everyday work until 2am. I thought by right life should get better and better but for my case why everytime so unluckly I find myself more and more LC.... I feel so small of myself. I have alot to say but i juz don know how to put it in words... sometime I find my character sucks why can't i juz do thing following how i feel, juz don care and do watever is good for me but i juz can't help it, whenever i make up my mind to do something i will start to think and consider than after that the same ending i will change my mind... sign... but some times also no choice la I cannot think of myself only there is too many thing i have to think it carefully. I always thought fate is control by ourself by now than i relise it is not as easily as wat i think, everything is out of control... I am not happy, I am tired, I don wan to take care of everything...