I Hate My Life...

Sometime i kept thinking... do i deserve this type of life? Everyday work so hard than after work have to rushes to fetch my kid make dinner for them, teach them, take care of them...settle every small thing or big thing for the family... actually after thinking and thinking i realise that becoz i love my 2 kids that why i do so much and the real problem actually is ___ he did change alot compare to last time but ... i still think not enough, he cannot make me feel safe, and i think i don love him anymore since 1 year ago when i decided to leave him but becoz at that time i got my little gal i thought i can give him 1 more chance but now i really regret... he never cherish me in the past but after he lose everything than he come back to me, I find myself so stupid, staying for the seek of my kids... Someone ask me do i really like to drink so much? i replied him "Yes" but i know i drink to lessen my pain...